Therapy

Test your urine, test your blood,

 find the cure, purchase some love. 

Go to Asia, go to Rome, 

spend your days in bed at home. 

Talk to Samaritans, talk to friends,

 shout at them, 'til they're round the bend.

Eat banana's, goodness grief, 

get bad Karma, eat some beef. 

Meet some people, have a dance, 

how about a quick romance.

Drink more water, don't drink from taps, 

or go to your doctor, & take Prozac. 

Get a lover, & start a war, 

smash your cupboards, and smash your doors.

 After throwing some custard tarts, 

write a poem and do some art. 

Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay,

 if that don't stop your pain then prey. 

Consultation here &; there,

no masturbation, instead just sware.

Clear your clutter, include the sink, 

a herbal cuppa? Here, take some zinc. 

 Do some swimming, go for a run, 

it's hard in the beginning, then it gets fun.

 

Imagine white light, then an hour later, 

start a fight with your next door neighbour. 

Magnetic water, magnetic wrist, 

don't drink water, drink your piss. 

Affirmations, I will succeed, 

I swear to hate this life I lead. 

Celestine Prophecy, Conversations with God, 

then smash your property, with an iron rod.

Psychic healers reveal all,

your local dealer gets a friendly call. 

Eat some wild, in the Himalayas, 

meet your inner child, go on shamanic J's. 

Magic mushrooms, herbal highs,

 no, just f**k 'em, have a good old cry. 

Spiritualist churches, and if you're still in doubt, 

wait 'til your 30's when your hormones chill out. 

Aim to get fitter, if it's hard, lay down, 

hold on to your knickers, or sleep around. 

Acupressure, have some pins,

 take a shower feel fresher, put out your bins.

Martial arts all night, all day,

 tune in to your heart, it's the only way. 

Find a purpose to your life,

 go down Oxford Circus, strip off in daylight. 

 Remember two things, wild berries & nettles,

listen to something soothing, like heavy metal,

  

10 day meditation, zip up you lips,

 try some relaxation tips. 

Remember this one, life's a game, 

there's no-where to run, you're coming back again.

Hands on healing, spirit guides, 

past-life readings, tested, tried. 

Aura photo's, stand on head, 

that's a no-no, face gone red. 

 "What the matter? There's something wrong? 

Here, have a massage two hours long..." 

We can heal you, but first we need, 

your bank details, A.S.A.P. 

Hypno what's it, Homeopaths, 

if that ain't no tonic, then go out on the lash. 

 Drink some lager, drink some wine,

 want something harder? Here, have a line.

Do some fasting, wear some beads, 

even if it the last thing, that you need. 

Try some yoga, if that don't work, 

think it over, then go plain berserk. 

Meet my Guru, he's really great, 

he does voodoo, & manipulates. 

I know what's wrong, it's your back end, 

here, have another, colon cleanse. 

Try this product, colloidal crap, 

costs your bollocks, tastes like cack. 

"We're not even, I need doe, 

let me help you with those demons, Bro".

Still need help? Torn out your hair? 

How about the electric chair?

Cleansing parasites, use my zapper,

eat some chocolate, hide the wrapper.

Nothing left? Then think again,

  if you think life's just suffering, buy a book of zen.

What, still hurting? Life still sucks? 

Then try re-birthing, if not,give up.

Give us you money, let us take you for a ride, 

then try to see the funny side. 

Still think life's a waste? Still going crazy? 

In that case, you're just plain lazy.